I'm not really sure what I am going to do with this blog. It all seems a bit silly, and yet, very significant, to me. I cannot go further without paying tribute to the person who means more to me than any other who has ever lived. Ardie has been gone for over fifteen years now and I have lived two lives since her passing. It is impossible to express how much she meant to me when she was alive and how much I still miss her. If I ever find the faith to keep turning till all things turn out right it will be because of my love for her and the love my children show to me. I suppose I could recommend to any wife out there, if you want to be remembered as perfect, you need only die. Whatever problems Ardie and I had, other than the ones I caused, are long forgotten. I remember her only as the most incredible wife a man could ever hope to have. She seemed to care so very much for me and was so patient and loving with me. I am grateful for the passing of time. Last year I took a rather incredible hike up the upper Lewis River here in Washington. It was a beautiful, clear, fall day and during the six miles I hiked that day I saw one other person. I was passing above the river and looking down I could see how deep and clear and still the water was. I thought to myself how wonderful it would be if Ardie could be with me, and instead of feeling pain at her absence, I smiled. I have had only a few incidents where I felt her near since her death, but I see her hand in the lives of her children often. I am so grateful for her and wish to express my love in this, my first statement, to whomever may read it.